How to be joyful...

This week, I received the impression a couple of times that I need to write my feelings and life experiences more in my journal.

I used to be a GREAT journal writer throughout high school, but throughout college I slowly started to drift away from it. I think I am lucky if I write in my journal once a year now? Pretty sad.

Anyway, when I was in high school, I used to write frequently...and occasionally I would let my older sister read my journal entries out loud because she always made the most tragic things of my life sound hilarious. Later in college, I read a few entries to my roommate because...I have to admit...I was boy crazy and very dramatic! It was hilarious!

As I was thinking about writing in my journal this week, I kept fighting with myself. Journal writing feels like such a chore these days. I don't feel like I ever have anything to write about. So I thought about blogging. Blogging can be fun...but again...I don't have very much to share. Kevin and I are boring these days...We just work, eat, and sleep. We rarely get out because we're exhausted, and when we do...we just go to Target or eat out somewhere. I doubt anyone cares about our Target trips and pictures of all the food we eat.

During one of these 'fights' with myself, my mind wandered and somehow I was thinking about how much I love self-help books. I love learning how to do different things. I must have been at the Library when I was thinking about this. Then it dawned on me, "Maybe I should write 'How-to's' about things I have learned in life recently to my future self!" I started thinking of a million things I could tell myself and wrote a big long list later that day.

So....because I enjoy typing (I don't write as much when I write by hand) things out, and I don't feel like creating ANOTHER blog just for journaling...I am going to keep my posts/thoughts/journal open to the world. After all, I don't seem to mind having other people read my journal entries...

Disclaimer: Don't get the impression that I am full of myself and I think I know everything because I am writing a bunch of 'self help" posts. Like I said...this is just really thoughts and advice to my future self. And maybe when Kevin and I actually do something worth recording, I will post other stuff. But for now...I'm just going to try to have fun with this. This is super dorky...and I stink at writing...so BEWARE.

HOW TO BE JOYFUL

Dear Ellen,

Life has given you lemons. Actually, this season of life has given you more lemons you know how to deal with at times. However, I feel like I have learned some really valuable lessons in how to make some great lemonade.

1. Pray. There have been times, when I have not wanted to pray because I was too angry or sad and just wanted to cry and be mad. However, I have had the BEST, sweetest experiences from humbling myself and praying. One story I will always cherish, was when I was feeling completely defeated, lost, alone, confused, and scared. I decided that I NEEDED to pray. So I did. I knelt at my bed and just poured out my feelings. As I prayed, I remember feeling like there were angels circled about in my room. It was the most powerful, loving feeling because I KNEW they were there. I wept and didn't dare open my eyes because I knew if I opened them, I wouldn't see anything. But, because I prayed that day...I knew Heavenly Father had sent me help when I really needed it.  He knew I needed people cheering for me to keep going, and to lift my head up and get back to work. It was one of those days, I didn't think I could keep going...but I knew that I could after I prayed. Pray! Morning and night! You will get strength from prayer!

2. Kiss a baby every day. If you can't kiss a baby every day, kiss your other baby ;) (You know what I mean). In all seriousness though. As I have nannied, I have felt so much joy in spending time with the little girl I nanny! She is ADORABLE! She is at the best phase of life, where she is funny and cute most of the time. I know this is kind of impractical advise, because you won't be a nanny forever, so I included kissing your husband. He is also super cute and funny. If you take time to do this everyday, you will be able to cherish so many awesome memories together. So, maybe the real advise is to cherish the amazing relationships you have in your life!

3. Create something beautiful. I can't remember who spoke on this or what conference talk it was...but whoever it was said that 'creating something brings happiness' (something along those lines). This is SO true! Currently, I have been able to really focus on creating (singing) some amazing music. When I am able to do something with the knowledge I have gained from college and create something beautiful, it truly makes me happy and proud. It doesn't have to be music though. Crochet something, make a craft for your home, plan the perfect outfit, make an amazing meal, or create fun with a friend. All these things have also given me that satisfying feeling of pride and happiness.

4. Read from the scriptures every day. This was something I really had to work on....if you're not still doing this (you better be), then start making baby steps. Kevin and I started with 5 verses a night each, then we added 10 verses each, and now (if we're not exhausted) we pretty much read a whole chapter a night (depends how long it is). As you read your scriptures every night, pick one thing that you can relate to and really try to apply it. This has helped me grow so much. You will be surprised at how many verses truly speak to you every day. I love reading my scriptures. I look forward to it every night.

5. Visit Teach. I have a strong testimony of visiting teaching others. I have made amazing friends throughout the years who have truly inspired me. In fact, I probably don't do enough for those I visit teach because I feel like I get more from visiting them than they probably do from me! Honestly! I actually feel a little selfish when I come home from visiting teaching. It is a blessing! When Kevin did externships for a year and a half...I longed to have visiting teachers and to visit teach. Women truly need to socialize in some way or other....and it's so fitting that we are naturally nurturer's.

6. Ask for help when you need it. Ask for prayers, or fasting, or meals, or whatever you truly need. People are always willing to help when asked. This is such a blessing too when you are struggling because you will feel so much love from people who barely know you, but want to help.

7. Be optimistic. This also goes along the lines of counting your blessings. Sometimes, life is just plain hard...but I have found in the last year that there truly is always SOMETHING that you can be happy about. Having a job, having a car that works, being healthy, not getting in a car accident, having time to go to the temple, being too busy to worry, having your own place to live, being able to save money and live with someone for free, etc. There is literally always something to be thankful or optimistic about in every day.

8. Watch uplifting television (but not too much). Every now and then, it is nice to relax on the couch and be entertained. However, too much of this can actually cause depression. Funny story illustrating this... When I was in college, my roommates and I were frustrated with some guys and sick of being single, so we decided it would be a good idea to have a "Hot Guy Marathon". This meant that we watched movie after movie of good looking, chivalrous guys. For example, Brad Pitt in "A River Runs Through It", Mr. Darcy from "Pride and Prejudice"...and some others I don't really remember. It was all just a blur. Well, the next day, we went to church and became very depressed. Watching that many shows, made our situation feel bleaker. So the moral of the story is that too much of a good thing can make you feel depressed about what you don't have and make you more depressed. Does that make sense?

8 a. Read Uplifting Books. Read books that are entertaining or inspire optimism. It's a great way to relax and look at the world in a different way. Still working on this myself, but I have enjoyed it so far.

9. Avoid/ limit social media. If facebook or instagram or whatever you use causes you to compare yourself and become depressed, then you should delete your account for awhile. You will notice so much more happiness. Then when you get facebook back...limit it. This kind of goes along with what I was talking about in #8. It is fun and nice to keep in contact with old friends and acquaintances, but when you are going through some hard trials, it is easier to compare yourself with others (what you have and don't have) and it can become depressing.

10. Eat healthy and workout. Working out is actually really good for people going through a lot of stress. It has been proven to lower stress. Eating healthy will help you not get sick from stress and that's the last thing you want or need on your plate when you are going through something hard.

11.  Have a clean/organized home. Having your dishes done, bed made, things put in their spot is the most relaxing feeling. You won't have added stress because you won't be thinking about all the other things you have to do around the house. This is hard when you are busy. But when you do have the time...clean. The whole process can actually be relaxing. Especially when you put on some good music....Or don't  have music and use that time to think.

So that is all I have for now. This was actually a lot longer than I thought it would be. But, they are great lessons to be learned and have brought so much joy in the midst of tribulation. May it help in the future!